it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
