just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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