pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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