Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
