Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
