That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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