i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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