I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
