the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
