I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
