oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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