4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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