HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
How external is "for external use only"?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
