Where is the hickey?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
