that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
40s are totally the cure
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize