brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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