You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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