We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
