i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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