If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
