I CAN MOONWALK!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Are my feet made of real feet?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
