i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
