Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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