dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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