But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
