I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
