Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
