Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house

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(732): so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house http://tfl.nu/3ust

Replies (18) Good night (622) Bad night (3917)
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(805): View more from California

just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.

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(805): just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/ly75

Replies (7) Good night (6504) Bad night (1259)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?

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(570): does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid? http://tfl.nu/ldlo

Replies (28) Good night (670) Bad night (4707)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex

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(702): I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex http://tfl.nu/r82f

Replies (3) Good night (3864) Bad night (948)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.

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(617): mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore. http://tfl.nu/p0bd

Replies (32) Good night (1987) Bad night (6477)
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(630): View more from Illinois

seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.

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(630): seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine. http://tfl.nu/6ynv

Replies (6) Good night (2095) Bad night (1375)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay

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(919): Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay http://tfl.nu/w5k9

Replies (18) Good night (1981) Bad night (867)
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(773): View more from Illinois

despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am

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(773): despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am http://tfl.nu/0kp9

Replies (1) Good night (1218) Bad night (635)
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(970): View more from Colorado

The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.

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(970): The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad. http://tfl.nu/lkeb

Replies (4) Good night (1001) Bad night (723)
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(205): View more from Alabama

High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.

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(205): High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead. http://tfl.nu/efrd

Replies (11) Good night (2617) Bad night (636)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.

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(402): I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men. http://tfl.nu/t0j9

Replies (14) Good night (2658) Bad night (586)
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(646): View more from New York

The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help

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(646): The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help http://tfl.nu/rosq

Replies (6) Good night (427) Bad night (995)
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(914): View more from New York

We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer

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(914): We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer http://tfl.nu/h5p8

Replies (11) Good night (811) Bad night (325)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.

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(720): Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy. http://tfl.nu/nimg

Replies (2) Good night (790) Bad night (265)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.

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(601): Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening. http://tfl.nu/53fl

Replies (7) Good night (652) Bad night (239)

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