Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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