According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
