The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
