Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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