i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
