bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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