I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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