Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
