i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
