We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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