He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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