i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
