They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
