I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
