i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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