so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize