who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
