the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
