WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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