Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
