Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
