Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
