College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
