I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
