Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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