oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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