I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
