Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
id be glad to
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
