Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
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I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
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u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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