Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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