When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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