from now on my penis is your penis
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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