So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
