i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
